Tuesday, 8 September 2015

My Diary: Moving Out | Personal

For as long as I can remember I have kept a journal (or a diary, whatever you prefer to call it). Keeping a journal helps me to dump my brain and process my thoughts and feelings. Whenever I feel any type of emotion I like to write it on paper. Being a very type-A, analytical person, this helps me to understand my feelings in their entirety. Whether I'm writing in paragraphs or just jotting down random thoughts, journaling is a huge part of my life.

As some of you may know, I very recently moved away to attend college. I have relocated 9 hours away from my home town to the big city of Ottawa! I'm so excited for this new life and this new adventure. It's crossed my mind that there are probably loads of others out there who are moving out or will be moving out; instead of trying to explain my emotions in a blog post, I thought I'd instead share with you what I wrote- word for word, no holds barred- in my journal on the days leading up to moving, the days during the moving process, and the days afterward where my family left me to head home.

August 23, 2015
Today: Worked 10-5 today. Only two more shifts @ CT. It still doesn't feel real that I'm moving in 10 days. 
Painted my nails w. Ballet Slippers by Essie *heart*
Tomorrow: Want to do a crazy workout!

August 26, 2015
Today: only one week left until Ottawa. Getting quite anxious. I'm excited but I know that saying all my goodbyes will be exceptionally hard.
It's scary just how fast the time is going by. All the days are a blur of fleeting memories- mostly great memories.
It's crazy to think how much my life will change in only 7 days.
Tomorrow: Strength workout, movie with Will & evening w. Amanda.
August 27, 2015
6 Days till Ottawa.
I went to the island today for the last time before moving, Amanda came. Feeling v. emotional however have not cried (yet).
Tomorrow is last CT shift, v. bitter sweet.
Want to bake epic dessert for the Saturday party.

August 28, 2015
Worked my last shift at CT today, very bitter sweet.
5 Days till Ottawa.
Tomorrow is my going away party & I do not feel the least bit ready for all the goodbyes I am going to have to say. That's for darn sure!
I think once I get down there I will be fine but leading up to it I am v. anxious.
August 30, 2015
3 Days till Ottawa.
Morning: last night I said goodbye to everyone (till Christmas). It's so sad to be leaving everybody that I love and care about.
Saying goodbye to Opa was the hardest thing I've had to do in ages. When he began to cry I got very emotional.
Monday I will have to say goodbye to the Porter's- I'm not ready for that at all. Especially Tate; he has touched my heart and I'm very afraid he will forget me when I come back (although everyone assures me he won't).
I think when I get to Ottawa it will be very hard missing everyone so much but this is something I need to do. Beyond that it's something I want to do. I love photography. I also couldn't imagine living my whole life without exploring the world and exploring myself.
Evening: Said goodbye to Amanda's mom & Rob today. They are such wonderful people! It's hard to say goodbye to them as they really have been a second family to me. Only 3 more sleeps now. Gah! I'm so nervous but so excited. I can't wait to see what the future holds.
September 1, 2015
11:33am: I've decided to take my measurements on the first of every month instead of weekly. I think it's just a better idea to do it this way. Can't make much progress in a week.
Last night I said goodbye to Homan, Amanda, & Brent. It was quite emotional. Amanda wrote me an absolutely lovely letter. 
We went shopping too! I got a maxi skirt, a midi skirt, a pair of shorts & a skater skirt from Urban Planet all for $40.60. Them we went on to H&M where I spent $24.00 and got a skirt- A line- a t-shirt, and a long sleeve shirt. V. happy! Mega sales!
1:37pm: Just finished loading up all my stuff. Very surreal to realize that, in essence, my entire life fits on a 5'x9' trailer. Need a nap.
9:43pm: Heading to bed- tomorrow is moving day! Eep, I'm so excited! I feel a lot less anxious knowing that everything is all set up for me there. Plus Christmas is only a few months away! :) Said my final goodbyes today (other than mom, dad & Mitch obviously). As sad as it is to leave, and as much as I'll miss everyone, I know that this is the right next step for me and I'm so thrilled to be starting this new life for myself.

September 2, 2015
10:22am: Moving day! We're about 3 and 1/2 hours into the trip (hence bumpy handwriting). Just can't wait to be there! 6 hours to go!

September 3, 2015
Couldn't even write yesterday, it was just go go go. Once we got in we unpacked everything and moved my things into the apartment & got some groceries and other necessities. 
My roommates are nice, but they're never here! They've lived here for years so they already know their way around and have things to do. It's lonely.
It's mom, dad, and Mitch's last day tomorrow and I am not prepared for them to leave at all! At least Paul is here, I've got one friend! We played pool at a pub last night. V. fun but I really suck haha.
September 4, 2015
8:00am: Second night in the apartment was already better than the first.
Today is the fam's last day here. I'm getting a lump in my throat just writing that... I'm very scared. Mom says if I wasn't scared she'd be concerned, so I suppose it's a normal feeling.
Think I'm going to walk around a bit, see what there is in the neighbourhood, before the fam comes to pick me up.
We hit up the aviation museum today, so fun!
September 5, 2015
Just said goodbye to all the family... so many tears. This is all so hard.
1:19pm: Already feeling better :) Paul and I went to the Rideau centre this morning and I didn't buy a thing! Feeling very proud of my self restraint. Am now heading out for a little bike ride around my neighbourhood.
September 6, 2015
Skyped the fam this morning, no tears! :D It's going to be a nice, quiet Sunday for me I do believe. Gong to work on organizing the place a bit more. 
Yesterday's bike ride was a huge success! I really love the neighbourhood I live in.
It's so hot here, I still can't get used to it at all. I constantly feel gross and tired.
Paul said he may be going home for thanksgiving and if he does I can bum a ride from him! I really hope everything works out. I would LOVE to be home for thanksgiving. I think a month being here would be the perfect time for a weekend trip home.
I'm very excited for school to start! Orientation is only 2 days away! I hope I do well.
I'm trying my very best to eat full, healthy meals. It's hard to make myself eat at this point because I'm so homesick but I do need to be eating! That's for sure.
It was my first full day on my own in Ottawa. Went walking down by the beach and discovered Hog's Back Park. It's a huge green area with a dam and streams and waterfalls. It reminds me of back home- definitely will be a place I revisit!
I outlined my budget for the year and I'm feeling quite good about it. Glad I listened to my family and saved money so I don't have to stress about it too much.
Called Dantie & Uncle Mikey and Grammie today :)
Paul took me downtown tonight to see Parliament Hill. It was absolutely stunning- I really love it here. It's easier to deal with the homesickness when there's constantly something to discover.

September 7, 2015
Went to Paul's place today to get all our school things organized. It's freaking 40C today- so humid & too dang hot!!! Can't wait for fall and winter haha.
Skyped the fam for dinner tonight! Was quite lovely, makes it so much easier. I have a new found appreciation for technology.
Tomorrow is college orientation day. Whoooooo! Can't wait, so excited! :)

Hope you enjoyed this VERY personal post showing my raw emotions through the moving out process. It really is hard and quite lonely but such an amazing experience. Let me know how your experience is going (or went if you've had it before), any questions or thoughts then please do leave a comment!

Thanks for reading, xo, Katelyn