My Weight Journey
*Just want to place a little disclaimer here to say that this isn't me bragging in anyway, I've struggled with my weight for a while and I've worked really hard to get where I am. This post is designed to explain what has been working for me in order to get to a place where I'm more confident and healthy*
I began suffering from an eating disorder in the 10th grade. I was classified as having anorexia binge/purge type. This means that I would avoid eating at all cost and if I did end up eating, most of the time I would find a way to "get rid of it" as soon as possible. My bad habits were discovered near the end of the 11th grade when my swim coach noticed not only how thin I was getting in my swim suit, but also that my hair was thinning, my skin was getting bad, and my energy levels were very low.
I am not going to post any body pictures from when I was suffering with this as I know that then (and even now) I would compare myself to these unhealthy images and I don't want to provide them for anyone else. I still have the mind set that bony girls are gorgeous; I admire thigh gaps and hip bones and cheek bones etc (Angelina Jolie though, am I right!?). This admiration doesn't overwhelm my life anymore though, and I can now realize that as long as I'm living a healthy lifestyle my weight and clothing size don't matter.
When I realized how unhealthy my life style truly was and how much weight I had put on after my recovery I was devastated. I went from not eating at all to skipping some meals and then binge eating to try to makeup my calorie needs. At my heaviest I was 153 on my petite, small boned, 5'2" frame. I wasn't by any means "fat" and I'm not claiming that I was, but I wasn't healthy. I was eating a lot of fast food and spending a lot of time in my bed. Recovery was hard and I just felt exhausted which left me depressed. I had to snap myself out of this funk and so began exercising again and eating healthy.
Only a year after the first picture you can see how much my body changed. All I was doing over this year was eating healthy foods and trying to be a little bit more active, opting for a walk on the board walk instead of a movie at the cinema. I went from 153 to 118. The weight loss wasn't a huge accomplishment compared to being 1 year anorexia free! Of course over that year I would feel the urge to skip a meal or purge after eating, but for 365 days I was able to suppress the urges.
I took this photo at the beginning of this month. I am still anorexia free and I am so proud of myself. I found that I really love yoga, walking and bike riding and so I began doing those more and more often since January. My weight hasn't really changed but my body has. Just with the little bit of daily exercise I do my body has become a lot more toned. Places that once were jiggly are now a little more firm.
I think my biggest bit of growth over the last year and a half (besides overcoming anorexia) is I now have an appreciation for my body.
I don't care to be skin and bones because my muscles are so beautiful.
I don't care to be skin and bones because my fat is so beautiful.
I don't care to be skin and bones because I am so beautiful.
If you are suffering with an eating disorder please reach out to someone! My e-mail is firstname.lastname@example.org, please feel free to send me an e-mail at anytime of the day or night. You are not alone in your struggle and recovery is possible.
Thanks for reading, xo, Katelyn