Life Lately | Update

March has been one heck of a crazy month! School has been absolutely insane with assignments and due dates and tests. Now finals are just around the corner and it doesn't seem to be letting up quite yet. 

So much has happened this month that I figured a little update was in order. 

School

Gotta start off with the big one. The one that has taken up the majority of my month. I still love my program and I still love my school. 

It's a relief to still be able to say that after the hectic month we've endured. A lot of my classes are wrapping up now as the first two weeks of April are for portfolio development and the third week of April is dedicated to portfolio interviews. 

I have realized this month that I really enjoy commercial photography as a whole and high key portraiture. I really enjoy photographing products, especially cosmetics! 

I think I like high key portraiture so much because it seems to make everyone look flawless! I mean, come on, a Mola beauty dish can make anyone look amazing haha. 

Relationships

I had Tinder for like 6 days haha. My friend convinced me that it would be a good idea to put myself out there and make people know that I am available for a relationship. Firstly, I think Tinder is a joke. I know a few couples who have actually met through Tinder and are doing great together but on the whole I don't think it's meant for serious relationships. 

I realized through all this that I don't think I am available for a relationship. No, I'm not taken. But I'm spending so much time and effort on working toward loving myself that I'm not sure I'm really ready to open my heart to someone else. 

Friends

I have grown very close to a girl here in my program. We have been doing all of our shoots together and have been spending a lot of time together outside of the program as well. She is easily my closest and best friend here in Ottawa. 

The first friend I made here is someone who I'm not sure I'm proud to call a friend anymore. We had a little argument toward the beginning of the month where in she left me in a full blown anxiety attack. She didn't ever apologize or ask if I was okay, instead she left. Friends shouldn't give friends anxiety attacks.

Since that has happened, numerous others with in the program have revealed to me that they really don't like her and they feel that she is rude and judgemental. I couldn't agree more. However, I only have three weeks left with her so I'm remaining civil. It seems like the best option. 

Roommates

I have been struggling to get along with my one roommate since day one here. She is the type of person who makes messes and leaves them behind for someone else to clean up. But then if she finds a mess in the apartment that isn't hers all hell breaks loose and she's spam messaging the rest of us that we are slobs and need to clean up. It has been a genuine test of patience to deal with her. Just three more weeks. Just three more weeks.

Family

I'm not sure if I mentioned it on here but my aunt and uncle had a house fire just before Christmas. They FINALLY received an answer about their home from the insurance adjusters- it's being written off. I'm so happy that they are able to move on with their lives, look for houses, and move out of the hotel they've been living in. 

I can't wait to be back home this summer. Again, just three more weeks! My family and I are all so close, especially me and my mom. I'm excited to be able to enjoy more time with them again. I'm going to give my mom the biggest hug when I see her!

Personal Wellbeing

With this being such a stressful month I have been making a conscious effort to make sure I'm not letting myself get on auto pilot. I've been trying my best to stay present in every moment and take breaks whenever I need to. 

Yoga and walks around the neighbourhood have been two things I've been doing to help keep me active and sane. It's so easy to get into editing mode. Before you know it four hours have passed and your eyes are hurting something fierce! I try to take a break every hour for about fifteen minutes. 

Coming Up Next

I don't plan to return to Ottawa for the next school year. The photography program at the college back home has been revamped and is just as good as the one here! I'm so happy to be moving home.

My health has been acting up lately. Moving home really is my only option as far as taking care of myself and my body. I do like Ottawa and at first I was extremely gutted. Once I learned that the college offered a comparable program, I was really relieved and I'm now looking forward to being back home.

Speaking of moving home, my oldest and best girl friend is moving home too! We plan to spend the summer working and living at our homes to save money. When August comes we're going to get an apartment together! I'm so excited! We've been talking about living together for years and it's finally able to happen!

I got offered a photography job shooting a wedding! This July ninth I will be photographing a bride and groom on their big day! I'm so anxious about it. On one hand I'm really excited for the opportunity but on the other hand it's a huge deal and I'm quite nervous. It happens to fall on no bra day... one of my favourite days of the year... so I'm taking that as a positive sign haha.

How has March treated you? I hope daylight savings spring forward didn't mess with your sleep too much! What are you looking forward to this summer? Let me know in a comment!

Thanks for reading & check back again to see what KatieDidd, xo

52 Weeks of Gratitude Challenge | May 3, 2015

2. Spouse or Significant Other

I was going to skip this week because at this time in my life I am very single. However, I realised every relationship I have had I have learned a lesson that I am grateful for. My first serious boyfriend was in grade 9 (I won't say any names just in case ha). We were together for two years; I really did think I was going to marry him someday. After about a year and a half of dating I found out he had been cheating on me. Whenever he would leave my house in the city and make the 30 minute drive out to his house off the highway, he would stop off at a girls house and they would do whatever it is that they would do (we all know what they did). Despite finding this out, I stayed with him. We were together another 6 months before he TEXTED me saying he was already dating another girl that he met at college (I forgot to mention he was two years older than me) so he wanted to break up. Heart broken was an understatement.

My second serious boyfriend was about a year later. He was 4 years older than me and we dated for almost a year. I was in grade 12 and he was living in an apartment with his friends, almost finished college. The age difference meant nothing when we were together. We loved cooking together and going for walks around his neighbourhood since he lived down by the river. He had the most gorgeous ocean blue eyes and he was so tall, like 6'2". When I started university with my 3 best friends, they were all single. It didn't bother me until they kept badgering me about how I was "missing out on my college experiences" and that really made me scared. I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend because I was so terrified about missing out. I feel so bad for this as we had hung out just the day before and as hard as it was for me since I still loved him, it was at least twice as hard for him. He was completely blindsided. 

The last guy I dated was someone who went to my primary school. We actually reconnected when he came through my cash line at Canadian Tire. We hung out almost every day for the last few weeks of summer, until he had to move away for a job opportunity he got. I wouldn't necessarily call him a "serious" boyfriend as I barely considered him a boyfriend at all, but he called me his girlfriend when we FaceTimed so I guess it was official ha ha. It was so unfulfilling being with someone who was 10 hours away. Wanting to hug someone and not be able to is torture, never mind everything else. It was short lived. One day when we were on FaceTime he was watching a tv show on his laptop and I was on the phone with a friend of mine and I think then we knew. Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder when the heart never had time to become fond in the first place.

I have had other relationships, all with very nice guys, and I am friends with all of my exes (surprisingly enough). I've learned what I deserve from my past relationships. I deserve to love someone who is honest and loyal. Loving someone doesn't mean you're missing out on frivolous things around you (I never did one thing after breaking up that I couldn't have done when we were together). And I learned that I don't need to be in a relationship at all times. 

This stretch of being single has been the longest I haven't had a boyfriend since I was 14. It's been almost a year. When I look back on this year I am so proud of myself. I have really learned who I am by being on my own. I don't rely on anyone else to feel validation and I don't need to be with someone to feel complete. I am so grateful to all the significant others I've had in the past, but I'm also extremely grateful that I've had this time alone to grow and learn and discover and really just give birth to myself in a sense. I don't feel lonely when I'm alone and I think that is the thing I am most grateful for.

Thanks for reading, xo, Katelyn